What to do when your relationship ends

What is a separation

Separation is when you and the other person are no longer in a committed relationship.

If you are an unmarried couple, no further court process is needed to make your separation final. However, you may still need to deal with other issues, like dividing property. If you have a child together but did not live together, you’ll also need to figure out parenting and child support.

If you are partners, no further court process is needed to make your separation final. However, you may still need to deal with other issues, like parenting, child support, partner support and dividing property.

If you are married, separation is only part of the process to end the relationship. A divorce makes your separation final. Getting a divorce is important because a married person cannot marry someone else until the divorce is final. This is true even if you have been separated from your spouse for years.

When a separation begins

Your separation begins on the date you and the other person break up. This is known as your separation date.

Your separation date is not necessarily the date one of you moved out or you had a fight. It also may be different from when the court grants a protection order that keeps you away from each other.

Your separation date is important to know for:

• calculating child support or spousal/partner supportspousal/partner support On this website, referring to both spousal support and partner support.
• filing for divorce
• dividing property
• figuring out when the separation terms of your pre-nuptial agreement, cohabitation agreement or post-nuptial agreementpost-nuptial agreement An agreement signed by a married couple who plan to separate. It says how they will divide their property, who will pay support, and the parenting plan and decision-making authority for their children. take effect

If you and the other person cannot agree on your separation date, the court can decide based on the evidence.

What is an annulment

An annulment is a court order that says your marriage did not exist or was not valid. The court order is also called a decree of nullity or declaration of nullity of marriage.

You can only get an annulment in specific situations, including if:

• one of you is not able to or does not have capacitycapacity The ability to understand information for making a decision and the ability to appreciate the reasonably foreseeable consequences of making or not making the decision. Legal capacity is black or white – either a person is capable or is not capable. to consummate the marriageconsummate the marriage To have sexual intercourse for the first time after getting married.. (It is not enough to say one person did not want to consummate the marriageconsummate the marriage To have sexual intercourse for the first time after getting married..)
• one of you was married to someone else when the two of you got married
• you and the other person are too closely related
• you got married because someone else threatened to harm you if you did not
• one or both of you didn’t have capacitycapacity The ability to understand information for making a decision and the ability to appreciate the reasonably foreseeable consequences of making or not making the decision. Legal capacity is black or white – either a person is capable or is not capable. to get married, for example because you were impaired by drugs or alcohol at the wedding ceremony or you have a mental health condition
• you thought you were marrying someone else, not the person you married
• one of you was under 18, your guardians’ or the court did not consent and you didn’t consummate the marriageconsummate the marriage To have sexual intercourse for the first time after getting married.

Get legal help if you think you are eligible for an annulment.

What is a divorce

Divorce is a legal order that ends a marriage. It only applies to legal marriages, not spiritual or other marriages.

A divorce judgment is a court order that grants a divorce for the people named in it. The judgment says the divorce is final 31 days after the court grants it.

Getting divorced usually involves more than the divorce itself. It also includes resolving issues about parenting and child and/or spousal support payments, all known as corollary reliefcorollary relief A term used in divorce proceedings to describe claims for child support, spousal support, parenting time and decision-making responsibility. The court will not grant a divorce until the parents have dealt with these issues.. As well, you’ll have to divide your property between you.

The court may not grant a divorce until you have dealt with corollary reliefcorollary relief A term used in divorce proceedings to describe claims for child support, spousal support, parenting time and decision-making responsibility. The court will not grant a divorce until the parents have dealt with these issues., unless you ask the court to sever the divorce from the corollary reliefcorollary relief A term used in divorce proceedings to describe claims for child support, spousal support, parenting time and decision-making responsibility. The court will not grant a divorce until the parents have dealt with these issues. issues. You should start dealing with these other issues as soon as you have separated, even before you file for divorce.

Grounds for divorce

To get a divorce, you must prove your marriage has broken down. A breakdown in a marriage can happen in one of three ways. These are known as grounds for divorce.

Things to start dealing with

The decision to end a relationship is a difficult and emotional one. You may not know where to start to separate from your spouse or partner. Below are steps you can take to start the process.

1. Keep yourself and your children safe

Separations can be an unsafe time in a relationship. If you are already experiencing family violence, it may escalate during this time.

To find helpful resources, read the If you are in danger page. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

There are things you can do to keep yourself and your children safe. For example, you can get an Emergency Protection Order, also known as an EPO, to keep the person causing harm away from you. Learn more on the What to do about family violence page.

2. Get support

It is a good idea to get support through this process. This could be from family, friends, professionals and more.

Learn more about professionals who can help on the Ways to resolve disputes and Other helpful resources pages.

3. Review any agreements between you and the other person

Review any agreements you and the other person signed before or during the relationship, such as a prenuptial agreement, cohabitation agreement or post-nuptial agreementpost-nuptial agreement An agreement signed by a married couple who plan to separate. It says how they will divide their property, who will pay support, and the parenting plan and decision-making authority for their children..

These agreements may say how you should deal with family issues once you separate. You and the other person must follow the agreement unless you have a good reason to believe it is not valid.

If your agreement does not cover certain issues, or if you never had an agreement, you will have to take further steps to resolve them.

4. Work together with the other person

If you feel safe and comfortable doing so, you and the other person can discuss how you want to move forward.

You can also make a separation agreement. If done properly, this is a binding contract you make outside of court that sets out how you agree to resolve all separation issues.

For example, if you have children, it can say what the parenting plan is, who pays child support, and how you make decisions for your child. It can also say how you divide your property and if anyone pays spousal/partner support.

The benefits of making a separation agreement include simplifying your separation, resolving issues more quickly and maintaining a more positive relationship with the other person.

If you need support, you can get help from a professional. Going to court should be a last resort as it takes time and money.

5. Move out of the family home

It is possible to separate from someone but continue to live in the same home with each other while you divide your lives. For example, you may live in separate bedrooms and not spend time together.

However, many people feel that continuing to live together after separating is not in their best interests.

If you decide someone needs to move out, think about how that will happen, both logistically and financially. Consider the following:

• who is registered on titleCertificate of Title A document from the Alberta Land Titles Office that says who the owners of a property are and others who have an interest in the property, such as a mortgage holder. to your home or named in the lease agreement
• how one of you will afford to live somewhere else
• who will pay expenses for the family home
• what personal propertypersonal property Any property a person owns that is not real estate. Examples include vehicles, furniture, bank accounts and clothes. each of you will keep
• if you have children, whether nesting is an option, where your children live in the family home full-time and each of you takes turns living there with them

Learn more on the What happens to your home page.

If you are person moving out, things you should take with you include:

• personal identification, such as driver’s licence, passport, firearms license, work identification or access cards
• original marriage certificate or adult interdependent partnership agreement, if you have one
• original or copy of an agreement between you and the other person, such as a pre-nuptial, cohabitation or post-nuptial agreementpost-nuptial agreement An agreement signed by a married couple who plan to separate. It says how they will divide their property, who will pay support, and the parenting plan and decision-making authority for their children.
• financial documents, such as tax returns, Notice of Assessments, pay stubs and Records of Employment
• work supplies, such as your phone, laptop or company documents
• personal belongings, such as toiletries, clothing, shoes and medications
• property you owned prior to the relationship and any property you believe is exempt property

At some point, you and the other person will have to divide your assetsassets Something a person owns that has value. Assets include houses, vehicles, furniture, money and investments. and debtsdebts Money you owe to others, including individuals and companies. Debts include mortgages, credit cards and loans.. Learn more on the Rules for dividing everything up page.

6. Make a plan if you have children

If you have children, you need to figure out where they will live, how you will co-parent together, who pays child support and more. Supporting your children and maintaining healthy relationships and stability is very important during this difficult time.

Learn more on the Make a plan for how to co-parent and Rules about child support pages.