Family violence can occur in any family and in any relationship, regardless of gender, age, income level, sexual orientation or cultural background. It can take many forms, and be a one-time incident or a pattern of behaviour over time.
Family violence is never okay. The person who is experiencing violence is not responsible for the person who is causing the harm. There are legal tools to help keep away the person causing harm.
Family violence and abuse can be complicated and traumatizing. Information on this page may be triggering. To connect with local supports, call 211.
Need to know
- Family violence can happen in any family regardless of gender, age, income level, sexual orientation or cultural background.
- You can get a protection order to prevent the person causing harm away from coming near you and your children.
- Sometimes, the person causing harm can be charged with a crime for their behaviour.
- CPLEA’s website, WillowNet, has more information about abuse and the law in Alberta.
What is abuse
Abuse is harm caused by one person to another. When someone abuses another member of their family, it is known as family violence. Abuse can take many forms.
Coercive control is a form of psychological abuse.
It is an ongoing pattern of threats, force, emotional abuse and other methods to control a person and get them to submit and comply.
The person using coercive control usually limits the other person’s freedom and micromanages their daily life. For example, the person using coercive control may want to know where the other person is all the time, disapprove of them going out somewhere or guilt them into staying home instead of spending time with family or friends.
Coercive control can also be hard to prove because the controller is usually very good at creating positive perceptions of themselves.
Digital or online abuse means using technology to harass and intimidate. This can include:
- constantly texting and getting angry if someone does not respond to texts right away
- excessively calling, emailing, texting or messaging a person
- stealing or demanding passwords to email and social media accounts
- monitoring a person’s activity through social media
- posting mean or threatening comments about a person online
- demanding explicit pictures of someone
Digital abuse can also include sharing intimate images of someone without their consent. This is a criminal offence under Canada’s Criminal Code. Learn more by downloading CPLEA’s Sharing Intimate Images Without Consent info sheet (PDF).
If someone has posted intimate images of you online without your consent, contact the police.
This can include:
- keeping someone financially dependent
- stealing money
- controlling finances or refusing to share money
- not allowing a person to work or get more education
- causing someone to lose their job, such as by making them miss work, filing complaints to get them fired or harassing their employer
Neglect often happens in situations where one person depends on the other. For example, a parent may neglect their child or someone may neglect their spouse/partner who depends on them for necessities such as food or medical care. Neglect can also be a criminal offence.
Neglect can include:
- not providing things needed to survive, such as food, clothing, medical care or shelter
- causing a risk of serious harm by not doing something
Physical harm can be a criminal offence. For example, if someone purposely hits or threatens to hit another person, the law calls this assault.
Physical abuse can include:
- hitting, punching, slapping, choking, burning, pushing, shoving or any other forceful physical act that a person does not consent to
- confining someone or not letting them contact friends or family
- forcing someone to take drugs, drink alcohol or do something illegal
This can include:
- controlling behaviour, such as bullying, humiliating, threatening, yelling, blaming, shaming, ridiculing, disrespecting or criticizing a person
- controlling what a person can or cannot do
- threatening to commit suicide
- threatening to harm or kill someone
- threatening to harm or take away someone’s children
- using a person’s personal, cultural, religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate, dominate or control them. For example, the person causing harm telling someone that a higher power is guiding their actions or that the person will go to hell if they do not obey them.
- indirect abuse towards pets
Sexual activity without consent is considered assault or rape. This includes sexual activity between spouses and partners. It is illegal to force someone to engage in sexual activity, even if they are spouses or partners.
Only those 16 years and over can consent to sexual activity with an adult. There are some exceptions for those younger than 16 who can give consent and those older than 16 who cannot give consent. When people are high, drunk or vulnerable in some way, they cannot give consent.
Sexual abuse can include:
- any sexual activity that a person does not consent to
- forcing or threatening someone to do something sexual that they don’t want to do
- using physical force, weapons or objects in sexual acts without a person’s consent
- involving other people in sexual acts without everyone’s consent
If you believe a child is being abused
If you reasonably believe a child is being abused, you have a legal duty to report it to the police or Children’s Services. If you do not report a child in danger, you can be found guilty of an offence and face a fine of up to $10,000 or a jail term of up to 6 months, or both.
Learn more on the If Children’s Services is involved page.
Who abuse happens to
Abuse can happen to anyone regardless of gender, age, relationship status, ability, income level, sexual orientation or cultural background. There is no “typical” person who experiences abuse.
Myth busters
Some people think a victim of abuse is a meek, financially dependent person who has no social supports outside of their romantic relationship.
This is untrue. Abuse can occur to even the most confident, financially independent and social individuals.
Who causes abuse
Anyone can cause abuse regardless of their income, gender, sexual orientation, relationship status, ability, race or religion. A person causing harm may be a child, spouse/partner, parent, other family member or some other person.
If a guardian knows that someone is abusing their underage child (under 18 in Alberta) and does not take steps to protect them, the guardian’s inaction can also be abuse.
There are some common signs that someone may be causing harm. These include attempts to:
- isolate the person experiencing abuse from family and friends
- minimize and deny their behaviour
- exert power and control over others
- blame the person they are causing harm to
- distrust others
Someone who abuses others may also have experienced or witnessed abuse themselves, have low self-esteem or not be in touch with their own feelings. Whatever their reasons, experiences or motivations, it is never okay for them to harm someone else.
Myth busters
Some people think an abuser is someone who has a temper that is obvious to others.
This is not true. An abuser can appear wonderful to others and have a great reputation in their communities, at work and in their social circle.
What to do if you see or experience abuse
If you are experiencing abuse, you can choose if and how to report the abuse. Options for reporting include the police, helplines, someone you trust and psychologists. Help is available.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Find more helplines and supports on the If you are in danger page.
You can also get a protection order to help keep the person causing harm away from you and your children. Keep reading to learn more about the different types of protection orders.
If you see abuse, call 911 if the person is in danger. You can also be a good support by starting a conversation, talking about specific behaviours you see or offering information about where the person can go for more help.
If you are new to Canada
You do not have to stay silent or in an abusive relationship to keep your status in Canada. You have options depending on your immigration status.
Learn more on the Information for Non-Canadian Citizens page on WillowNet – CPLEA’s website about abuse and the law in Alberta.
Types of protection orders
Protection orders, also known as no contact orders, are court orders that prevent the person causing harm from seeing or contacting you. There are different protection orders for different situations.
Learn more about how to get these different protection orders on WillowNet – CPLEA’s website about abuse and the law in Alberta.
Emergency Protection Order
Also known as an EPO, this order restricts a family member who is causing harm from contacting and being near you. You can get an EPO 24 hours a day, seven days a week in emergency situations without letting the other person know.
King’s Bench Protection Order
Also known as an KBPO, this order is similar to an EPO except it is for non-emergency situations. This order restricts a family member who is causing harm from contacting and being near you. It can also give you exclusive possession of your home and other belongings. You must notify the other person before going to court to ask for this order.
Restraining order
A restraining order restricts a person who is causing harm from contacting and being near you. You can get a restraining order in emergency and non-emergency situations against anyone, regardless of their relationship to you.
Mutual no contact order
A mutual no contact order is a type of restraining order where both people agree not to contact or be near each another. You and the other person can agree to a mutual no contact order outside of court and then file it with the court as a consent order. Before you agree to a no contact order, get legal support.
Exclusive possession order
An exclusive possession order allows you to stay in the family home if your relationship has broken down and you and your spouse/partner cannot live peacefully together. Learn more on the What happens to your home page.
Peace bond, recognizance or conditions of release
The court grants these orders to deal with criminal charges. They allow the person who has caused harm to be out of jail. For example, the court can impose conditions of release while a person waits for their court date. The court can change or revoke these orders without giving notice to the person being protected.
WillowNet – CPLEA’s website about abuse and the law in Alberta
Learn more about abuse and the law in Alberta, including how to leave an abusive situation and how to get a protection order, on WillowNet – CPLEA’s website about abuse and the law in Alberta.
Potential issues
You are not sure if you are experiencing abuse.
If you are not sure if what is happening to you is abuse, it is a good idea to talk to someone you trust. Abuse can take many forms. If you feel unsafe or that something is not right, get help immediately.
The police are not pressing charges against the person causing harm.
There can be many reasons why the police are not pressing charges. But that does not mean the abuse is okay. Learn more about going to the police on WillowNet – CPLEA’s website about abuse and the law in Alberta.
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